Jan 6, 2011

The writer who never wrote

Finally I am here with my first blog entry,  not really being sure of;  why, about what and for whom I have to write. Yet I am  content that I have written something at last. There is a tale behind this frustration to write something.
One fine day couple of years back, my good friend Ravi had announced to me that I was a “writer- material”. Though I never had such  inkling, I chose to trust my much acclaimed writer friend as it was a fancy too irresistible to be lost to skepticism  and also because Ravi is not known to say lies too often.
Then came the journey of a painful disillusionment. After two long years of dreaming, effort and study, I was left where I had begun. After reading nearly hundred books and writing dozens of weird scraps on subjects ranging from odd to awkward, I was (and still am) yet to write one good blog post. To sum it up, I couldn’t be a writer.
Before venturing on this curious trail, I thought I was 4 out of 10 in English language. After immersing myself into reading all I ended up learning was the realization that I am in fact only 4 out of 100. In spite of all the determination and grit, I am yet to write one good blog post let alone a publishable article.
But there is a silver lining, reading has enriched my life, I feel blessed to have found this invaluable wealth of wisdom and craft that has often helped me floating in some amazing moments of happiness and imagination and also drenched in profound enlightenment.  Reading has opened up a new horizon which was unknown to me but is now a source of unlimited joy and inspiration.
After two long years I met my Guru and mentor Ravi back in Kinnigoli market. We talked about writing. After talking a bit about reading and writing he was quite impressed, the way you would get impressed to see a Dog standing on two legs and jumping for the bone.  He exclaimed “Boss, you are a good writer now”. I felt happy for a while, It feels great to be appreciated by your Guru. But the joy was short-lived. Soon he enquired “ why don’t you show me some of your writings”.
I ran helter - skelter, searching in my PC, in my diaries and note books. But soon the bleak realization of not having penned even a single decent page over past two years struck me on my face like daylight.
Ravi, apart from being a good writer could be an extremely generous man especially while consoling a dejected soul.  Trying to look as genuine as possible he announced these gems “Boss, perhaps you are a good writer who never wrote”.
Like a naughty monkey this tag has stayed glued to my back for past three months. My every effort to get rid of it has failed. I have wondered sometimes that this would remain till my death and Mr Ravi would repeat it on my eulogy and perhaps would suggest my family members to inscribe as an epigraph on my tomb.
Then I decided to write. I tried to write. I made immense plans and profound designs and schemes to write. I tried in the planes, toilets  and in the marriage hall. In the grave yard and even in the church ( god forgive me). But still not a single  blog-post would come.
But, thankfully, on the final week of December a breakthrough came. I read Tao, the 2,500 old Chinese philosophies on life. It threw up quite a few gems of wisdom (which I hope to be topics of my future writing) which helped me understand where I was going wrong.
The one thing it made me clear is that there is nothing like “planning for writing” “ making efforts to write” “ deciding to write “ or “getting ideas for writing”. There are just two things, you either write or you don’t write, there is nothing in between .  All the  concepts, thoughts and suggestion of “planning for writing” “ making efforts to write” “ deciding to write “ or “getting ideas for writing” are either a myth or illusion.
Having relaised this fact, I decided an hour back that I would just write it today without bothering about subject and prospective reader.
The product of my writing  : what you have read just now.
Thanks for your patience.


  1. Hello Joy,
    Let me be the first to write a comment. (This could be a momentous event, which I will remember for years to come.)
    I am really proud about the way you have accepted the writing challenge, and the way you are pursuing it.
    The Guru tag is intimidating! (I don’t deserve it. since, we have the same passion, it’s always a pleasure to share a couple of things.
    I am truly happy that you no more have the Big-Words fever. You have become a Zen.
    I wish you all the best! And, hope you will keep writing regularly.
    P.S. I am probably one of those who have read everything you have published. I see a tremendous improvement in the above piece compared to your earlier articles.
    Keep writing. Nothing else is more romantic.

  2. hey my earlier comment vanished somewhere?

  3. very nice article which fully expressed the feelings/circumstances of seed beneath the earth before it sprout on the surface of earth .....now journey starts to become a beautiful plant.....